She sleeps

with her eyes

wide open

because she fears

I'll leave.

I am surrounded

by an army 

of sticky notes

I have hung myself

like a banana,

to ripen and fall

Brush strokes 

of coffee

paint 

every aspect

of my life

including

my dissertation

With such vivid colors,

she illustrates her mind

with denial and regret.

Stretch me 

across your life

so thin

I'll disappear

OK

All of this -

breast cancer, divorce,

and a car accident -

renews her faith

that nothing

will ever be