Monday, December 10, 2007

The pulse of winter
pumps sludge onto the roads
like a slobbering monster.

In the frenzied pace
of spinning tires
and shopping carts,

I find you snuggled among
a tangle of ribbon
and wrapping paper.

13 comments:

writerwoman said...

This would be a good poem for the Twelve Days of Poetry. Email me at IlovetowriteSMP and let me know if this is the one you want me to post about on December 14th at Poets Who Blog.

Ario said...

I like the way the camera zooms here and the poetic ending.

Scott Clawson said...

Ah! The slobbering monster! Something of a Christmas right of passage I should think! Great imagery, thanks for sharing it.

mariacristina said...

I really enjoyed this poem. The contrast between winter sludge and the traffic, and then someone snuggled among the ribbon creqates a vivid scene in my mind. I'm attracted to strong colors, so this poem does it for me.

UL said...

'Tangle of ribbon and wrapping paper' does it for me, bring so many different pieces to mind - thank you.

UL

qualcosa di bello said...

ahhh...starting in the outer world chaos & drawing the reader into the cozy inner world...so beautiful!

Barone said...

Brian,
The last line gives hope to the weary one inside; in the end it will all be worth it...well, hopefully before the end...thank you..great piece.
jodi barone

susan said...

Vice nice closing image.

lissa said...

Kind of sweet and fun. I like the last part.

crimsonflaw said...

such a wonderful poem...perfect balance, brevity, and that impossibly beautiful last stanza...

am so happy i read it on this day of dread and depression

thank you brian

sister AE said...

I like this a lot. Especially the movement from the slobbering sludge monster to the snuggle amidst ribbons. Quite the seasonal collage.

sister AE said...

btw - I came via Poets Who Blog this time.

DayDreamer said...

What a fun way to capture the season. The first stanza couldn't be better (or more true.)